Being twisted

Today, I feel twisted, like those spirals in the helix intertwined at the core of my being, like the gyre that I have always read about and seen. Watching something so twisted is easy to comprehend. It is the structure, molded into each other, you can see the one part from here and the other twirled to the one that you just saw, looped in to the one that was unseen but just caught the eye when you tried to look too close, with the part partially visible but unobserved by the eyes earlier. You understand the so much so decoded astounding complexity. But when it is the same that you feel, there is no dimension to the self. It is beauty, it is love it is complication, it is the truth and the knowledge of time and the tiny pinch that tells that today you are here, and tomorrow … leave the trail of thoughts here please, because being twisted is all about not answering anything. Silence, is the self, deaf you are to the world. What you can hear is the only thing that brought you here, the echo that is reverberated in side you, every time you roll deeper in the twist. Roll, Roll in to the thoughts that brought you here, the people tucked to you to bear, in the whirlwind of angst and complexity.

Twist, shut your brain, Twist along, Let the immense be in you and feel the throng. Twirl in the moment, turn back to see, the stretch of the body and be , the one that you never contemplated you'd ever be.

Hopelessness

Life is a blotch of stain, of misery when you know there is no way forward to go. All roads cease and there is no direction but one. The past is muddy, undoable. The things once done are etched on the tombstones. There is a situation when compromise is the only option and then follows death of the desires unveiled, of the things undone, of options, of adventures, of self, of hope.

A third person perspective of viewing something that is a marvel of beauty bound under the regime is what I aim to narrate here. When fate, as we always blame it, has commanded and everything danced on its enchanting hum, everything has turned to the notes and tunes and runs as per. The fragile physique bears the brunt of the no-choice phenomenon bestowed upon the women of your neighbourhood and mine. Not that it is not common and the choice is the same, always. Silent bearing of acknowledged ignorance as she knows to hope could only cause more misery in return. Actions turn impotent and life stagnant.

 He comes home all blitzed and stunk, she cooks him sumptuous dinners, she even lays platter of peanuts, chips, fried chicken and cheese with his second round at home because she knows that one thing miss equals a lot of shattering glasses. The two kids watch from behind the door, he learns to follow, she learns to loath. He tells his mother to get him milk, to sharpen his pencil and gives her blanks to fill. The daughter learns the loath and hatred.  She hates her father and surprisingly, even her mother. All she wants is to be with her friends, to be a brat and spend on fine clothes. She asks her father to pay for the clothes, he says you have enough, go check your wardrobe and then she starts the inevitable rounds of loathing in her parallel life. She envies everyone who is happy, she became a sociopath, stealing things out of greed of possession, fighting over petty things for entertainment, laughing over the wretch caused to others, she was losing herself and so was a part of her mother who cried in the dark of the night of the things she couldn’t undo because there was no choice. She had no say in her marriage, she has no capability to earn, and her children are drifting away in wrong direction . She is a 24-7 unpaid maid , but the maids still have a choice to step out. All that is  left is voluminous wrath  stacked inside and a coat of sheer frigid of misery 

Have you ever had a similar fire-freeze moment - an unforgettably magical moment when you felt two strongly opposite emotions? Love/Hate? Elation/Sadness? Anger/Sympathy? The desire to move forward yet run away at the same time?

Please comment/share/brief your fire-freeze story both in the comment section of this post and at the url: http://www.facebook.com/closeupindia

Is Indian Media - Misusing Its Freedom?

This post is my entry for the Blogadda contest on the topic "Is Indian Media - Misusing Its Freedom?"
In association with Pringoo - 


http://www.pringoo.com/custom-designs/Soccer~South~A-Soccer/did-25999/mid-1/ppid-496


चैन से सोना है तो जाग जाओ !

Bizarre  enough to hear  the media can now a days is armed enough to provide with horror spoofs to the reality seeking public. even though i am tempted to mention the name of the channel because of the wreck it has caused at my own home (and i firmly believe there are many like me at the receiving end)
so here starts the story...a normal day , my parents were flipping from one news channel to the other .they are normal middle class  who are anxious to know what is happening in the world outside , which is not covered in the newspaper
and

*bang*
comes a threat from the flat screen TV

" Does your daughter live in Hostel?"

"are you planning to send her to hostel? , think again because what we are going to show is soomething that you have never NEVER seen before " :/

and  %#@%$^ TV , thanks for being the evil in our life...

after watching the LESBIAN pictures of a group of girls belonging to a reputed college, i could only see exasperated faces. and i firmly believe that if this news would have been presented in a  different , less melodramatic way , the impression would have been very different.

what is media meant for? what does journalism mean? isn't it meant to communicate the truth in plaintive manner a medium , a nexus, a mode to access information  and i am thankful that i get to know about best shopping places if India and traveling destinations and weather conditions of cities via it

but when did one ask for a live wire shock thing  for a connection?

Dear media
Lets get back to the demographics of India. second most populous country with diversification in terms of religion and ethnicity. there are reservation for backward classes and scheduled caste and tribes. with the recent upgradation in the quota to 50  seats of the backward classes , its clear that  majority common folk are still living in middle class framework in terms of thinking and mentality. they have been mesmerized by Ekta kapoor's over exaggerated drama and are used to watching the protagonist being slapped thrice to create the impression *slap* *slap* *slap*along with sound of drum beats . DO NOT FOLLOW THE MAINSTREAM DRAMA , the job is to convey information not dramatize it in best way possible.. you are meant to be different and at least while the news is being conveyed a layman would be glad to watch the truth minus the suspense.

So my simple message to the news channels and television media in India is , stick to your genre, it isn't Drama, sarcasm et al . kindly do not try and defame celebrities with bawdy bylines which could make them joke amongst their families  and friends. conveying news without twisting them should be the real intention.

Escape

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 10; the tenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

In the swirls of puff

And the whiff of mire

I found an escape

To the endless gyre

I need to be lost

GONE ,ERASED

From the self, the world

I might sound deranged

I had life and love

Just  step away

But deceit and debauch

Made a shocking foray

I succumbed myself

To the burning desire

And i repent and roll

On self produced ire

Now i need to go

Away from my own race

The mirror reflects a monster

I dont recognize my face

And i delved in nothingness

With each glass, shot and puff

I managed to escape the self

In the high of drugs

Ps: every human being go through his share of dirty experiences in life and sometimes we all feel like going away from things.There is hardly a person who doesn't(or hasn't tried ) drink,fags or smoke up. people do it for various reasons -inquisitiveness, show-off, or just for the heck of it. getting drunk or doped isn't BAD! making a habit out of it surely IS ,for the self, family, friends and society. it  isn't the way OUT  from the miseries of life

say no to EXCESSIVE of drugs and yes to healthy ( read timely) boozing!

Pps: please excuse me if you find this post absurd, for me  people indulge in these activities out of some emotional setback or environment of the peers .there is a story, a narration in each paragraph. it upon you to decode it :)

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

carzy crazy things!

A few days back i was telling my best mate surbhi jain about Shakespeare's fool...in all the plays of Shakespeare, the clown is the wisest of all  the characters in the play, strange eh? but true indeed, so the its the irony of the situation that got hold of me. the foolest creature enjoys the most and i completely affiliate to the clown *proudly*. i was pondering upon the lines of craziness, FREAKY- freaky things that people of my age do! i mean it is a common string of emotion heartfelt by the hot bloods of cranky spirit which is very less deciphered by the rest and lend us a nobility of its own . the one time that would like stay on forever, is this! and its weird that i actually made a list of things that comes straight from my memoir .Even after reading this , you think i have a normal , tamed spirit, you gotta be kidding me

• typical movie mania! could watch a movie a hundred times and still cry over the protagonists being dejected, Sew dreams of one's own lovy dovy story after a watching a an emo-love story is yet another part of it.
• no matter wherever you see Robert pattinson/ kristen stuart *sigh*, you could not help drooling, its craziness, twilight is sickly addictve ( i remember i was so obsessed wit it that i read all 4 parts in one week,my poor eyes !)
• Head banging! bashing with the groovy beats and singing crazily over classic number like zombie and numb, there hasn't been a cranky soul master , without a sprained neck at one point of time in life
• weird color combo... i personally love yellow with purple. crazy it goes with variations. i saw green streaks on a gal's hair, daringly flamboyant.  the new pair of trousers with small animated cars print on it  and the little flowers along with it, completely senile at the first glance, but uber cool in my view.ps: yes i have them in real :D
• food-o-love :) pizza with pani poori? pasta with faluda for the desert :D, been there, done that *wink*
• did i mention the daring instinct? heights of crazy thinking when a chunky metal belt could be used a neck accessory .sounds totality bizarre but true of my  word,it was a totally chica stylo 
• so the depth of weirdness increases. ever made weird faces watching yourself in mirror? no ? do it and you can leave behind the baggage of inhibitions, one hell of a crazy idea .
• pretense is another way to fool around i would say. i once saw this  crazy guy who broke a vase and walked off as if he never even passed by it and later grieved over the  demolition of such an antique artefact, he even rebuked the culprit and bellowed  to 'show up'  ;)
• self indulgence is a common phenomenon . but when fused with gluttony then the crazy desire to wash over the dish of the yummy chocolate soufflé with the sweep of tongue is irresistible.
• ever made as sketch? drew a random design  on a piece of paper? at the back of registers, college desk?  stroke a few lines with  pencil here and there and name it Abstract Art.art is crazy as well
• believe you think to high? ever  saw an obscure face etched amongst the dark dense clouds? congratulations! u r a fantasy thinker , falling under the category of  'positively' crazy people.
• and the last person, i know him not , (i do not even intend to), lip-synching  a song with super dramatic emotions on face in the METRO! he was such a spectacle  and any body could make out he was showing off that he knows RoCk (yeah baby!) and could sing it as well! (WoW)!. AND that is - weird crazy , i would solemnly advice not to copy the same as it surely does amuse people like me , and probably give a laugh or two for children. the eldy's could come and ask you to wake up !

ans yes! for me like the clown, its normal to be insane and different from the rest.

if u agree, echo back " fool is cool" 

:D

love it is?

she was sultry
he was handsome
she was mellow
he was agile
they saw
they desired
they hooked
and  got booked
for the rest of their lives

love it is?

she was charming
he was adorable
she would read
he would watch
she would quote
he would yawn
and she was disappointed

love it is?

he would laugh his heart
she would smile
she wore checks
he liked stripes
he would joke
she would snide
and people called it love
and tied them up the altar

love it is?

she was unsure
he didn't care
but consumed in passion
of  the bodily lure
they succumbed to their instinct
and crochet the knot of marriage

love it is?

they were impassioned
they were insane
they were careless
they seldom refrain
he fervently kissed
she replied
and he was in her
that very night

AND SHE DIED...

of the numbness
at the time astride
it was a communion
of both bodies
hollow to the core
she never lived
from that very night

he was a player
she was taciturn
he tried
faced spite
he turned to places
to get sufficed
and she despised
the stinking man
lying beside

and they call it love
at first sight...

i believe in miracles!

I touched my nose

NO! i wasnt picking it ok

I was just making sure if its in place...

was it ?

yes! 

and i heaved a deep sigh

after a sudden pang  at the pit of my stomach ,

making me feel that i had an Ugly 

Pig Snout for a nose

I was depressed

I was lonely

I was Penelope

and that is what happens to me 

when i watch a nice movie :)

the power of fiction has held me so many times

I can even proudly call it 

my love in disguise

i know when i cant find the things in order 

when reality seems so profane

i turn to the fantastic

coz just like some ppl

(girls i would say)

find solace in the arms of the beloved (cliche to me  even to think about it :p)

the stories take me into some other world

has it ever happened to you?
did you feel like hogging on burgers after watching 'Harold and  Kumar Go to White Castle'
no?
then probably a normalcy check is on the cards

There isnt a person in my life  who is not aware of

my Harry Potter Mania

and i have managed to add on more to it , with Twilight in addition and a lot more chick flicks.

being in English honors i never felt the need to study more novels ( could i take a time off from dance? A: no)

but now I am a free spirited woman, as soon as the exam ends i have to pick as many chik flicks as possible

i am gluttonous 

and i lurv it 

so not digressing anymore and partially escaping the confession

i am back again to Penelope

to Harry Potter and

Twilight :)

the whole movie thing reminds me of cartoons, 

I SOo want to be bak in those days with Aladdin, tom and Jerry, Power puff girls, dexter, courage the cowardly dog, silly symphony, classic Micky mouse, Pingu 

how could i forget small wonder, hip hip hurray, Remix, Genie in the bottle

and the long lost and forgotten Duck tales- wohoo, Tale spin, jungle book, donald duck , popoye :)

I have loved the stories and

in the stories i live

is it an escape?

i have no idea :)

and all the beauty lies in it