despicable desirable changes of life

I vividly remember the , the last day of School, i had this totally numb feeling and i was mystified into my own  belief that "blah, things are the same", and then the most important changes came in...
from a new house , to new college, to new set of frnds...everything switched with the snap of the fingers...


there were no  more classes with similar uniform clad frnds...
there wasnt the obligation to hide my phn in the bag
No more "groups", no more known faces around
i had to start from the scratch
rebuild everything, my room , my space, my life!


My three years in Hansraj has been tremendously incitive
i use this word because it made me do things which i had probably never done if i would not have been made to.
being a part of choreo society  wasnt a cakewalk, neither sustaining to be in it
n i walk out with gratitude, coz i have had it and come out clean 


The school molded me into a slate
but the finishing is what college provided 
with its bitter sweet learnings.
yet i shudder at the thought of another change.
sitting at Lp and observing the rived surface
the idea of change all the more scares me...
my whole day was consumed in the agony of it.


Then lighted the bulb in my mind,
the torn surface would son be plastered 
and Lp wil be Lp again
rising above the odds , i have received
something, more than i expected in the first change
the second could be better than the first :)
or worse :(


no idea


so who knows wats next
n y care now
?


get sloshed down and let the time come :)
the despicable desirbale change wont get me down ...

a writing quest

his personality profile is based on the writing of Payal Kalra created at the website: Handwriting Wizard.com - Handwriting University's Official automated personality report creator based on standardized basic personality traits as taught through Handwriting University's Certification Level Program.

 Payal is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes.
Payal will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Payal an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other.
When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Payal is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.
Payal is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.
 People that write very large tend to be very social and friendly. It seems Payal has this type of writing. This indicates a need for people and a particular natural ability to socialize and be the life of the party. Now, if Payal also has specific fears (like fear of criticism or fear of trust) then she will deny she is the life of the party, because fear has overcome her natural inclination to be social. People with large handwriting tend to be effective at anything that requires interaction with lots of people. she is a people person.
 Payal will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Payal believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.
 Payal is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.
 According to the inputted data, Payal has a stinger shape inside the oval of her a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then Payal has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Mom or Dad). If the writer is a woman she will be attracted to strong challenging men. If the writer is a man, he will find the woman who is "hard to get" the most attractive. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships.
For more information about this "stinger" trait, visit this webpage. Remember, it is only negative if the traits occurs often and is quite pronounced. An occasional stinger can be no problem.
 In reference to Payal's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Payal slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Payal can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
 Payal is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Payal basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
 Payal is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
 Payal has a temper. She uses this as a defense mechanism when she doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around her.
 Payal has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
 For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Payal has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Payal fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Payal has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Payal is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Payal would like to leave the past behind and move on.