Escape

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 10; the tenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

In the swirls of puff

And the whiff of mire

I found an escape

To the endless gyre

I need to be lost

GONE ,ERASED

From the self, the world

I might sound deranged

I had life and love

Just  step away

But deceit and debauch

Made a shocking foray

I succumbed myself

To the burning desire

And i repent and roll

On self produced ire

Now i need to go

Away from my own race

The mirror reflects a monster

I dont recognize my face

And i delved in nothingness

With each glass, shot and puff

I managed to escape the self

In the high of drugs

Ps: every human being go through his share of dirty experiences in life and sometimes we all feel like going away from things.There is hardly a person who doesn't(or hasn't tried ) drink,fags or smoke up. people do it for various reasons -inquisitiveness, show-off, or just for the heck of it. getting drunk or doped isn't BAD! making a habit out of it surely IS ,for the self, family, friends and society. it  isn't the way OUT  from the miseries of life

say no to EXCESSIVE of drugs and yes to healthy ( read timely) boozing!

Pps: please excuse me if you find this post absurd, for me  people indulge in these activities out of some emotional setback or environment of the peers .there is a story, a narration in each paragraph. it upon you to decode it :)

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

carzy crazy things!

A few days back i was telling my best mate surbhi jain about Shakespeare's fool...in all the plays of Shakespeare, the clown is the wisest of all  the characters in the play, strange eh? but true indeed, so the its the irony of the situation that got hold of me. the foolest creature enjoys the most and i completely affiliate to the clown *proudly*. i was pondering upon the lines of craziness, FREAKY- freaky things that people of my age do! i mean it is a common string of emotion heartfelt by the hot bloods of cranky spirit which is very less deciphered by the rest and lend us a nobility of its own . the one time that would like stay on forever, is this! and its weird that i actually made a list of things that comes straight from my memoir .Even after reading this , you think i have a normal , tamed spirit, you gotta be kidding me

• typical movie mania! could watch a movie a hundred times and still cry over the protagonists being dejected, Sew dreams of one's own lovy dovy story after a watching a an emo-love story is yet another part of it.
• no matter wherever you see Robert pattinson/ kristen stuart *sigh*, you could not help drooling, its craziness, twilight is sickly addictve ( i remember i was so obsessed wit it that i read all 4 parts in one week,my poor eyes !)
• Head banging! bashing with the groovy beats and singing crazily over classic number like zombie and numb, there hasn't been a cranky soul master , without a sprained neck at one point of time in life
• weird color combo... i personally love yellow with purple. crazy it goes with variations. i saw green streaks on a gal's hair, daringly flamboyant.  the new pair of trousers with small animated cars print on it  and the little flowers along with it, completely senile at the first glance, but uber cool in my view.ps: yes i have them in real :D
• food-o-love :) pizza with pani poori? pasta with faluda for the desert :D, been there, done that *wink*
• did i mention the daring instinct? heights of crazy thinking when a chunky metal belt could be used a neck accessory .sounds totality bizarre but true of my  word,it was a totally chica stylo 
• so the depth of weirdness increases. ever made weird faces watching yourself in mirror? no ? do it and you can leave behind the baggage of inhibitions, one hell of a crazy idea .
• pretense is another way to fool around i would say. i once saw this  crazy guy who broke a vase and walked off as if he never even passed by it and later grieved over the  demolition of such an antique artefact, he even rebuked the culprit and bellowed  to 'show up'  ;)
• self indulgence is a common phenomenon . but when fused with gluttony then the crazy desire to wash over the dish of the yummy chocolate soufflé with the sweep of tongue is irresistible.
• ever made as sketch? drew a random design  on a piece of paper? at the back of registers, college desk?  stroke a few lines with  pencil here and there and name it Abstract Art.art is crazy as well
• believe you think to high? ever  saw an obscure face etched amongst the dark dense clouds? congratulations! u r a fantasy thinker , falling under the category of  'positively' crazy people.
• and the last person, i know him not , (i do not even intend to), lip-synching  a song with super dramatic emotions on face in the METRO! he was such a spectacle  and any body could make out he was showing off that he knows RoCk (yeah baby!) and could sing it as well! (WoW)!. AND that is - weird crazy , i would solemnly advice not to copy the same as it surely does amuse people like me , and probably give a laugh or two for children. the eldy's could come and ask you to wake up !

ans yes! for me like the clown, its normal to be insane and different from the rest.

if u agree, echo back " fool is cool" 

:D

love it is?

she was sultry
he was handsome
she was mellow
he was agile
they saw
they desired
they hooked
and  got booked
for the rest of their lives

love it is?

she was charming
he was adorable
she would read
he would watch
she would quote
he would yawn
and she was disappointed

love it is?

he would laugh his heart
she would smile
she wore checks
he liked stripes
he would joke
she would snide
and people called it love
and tied them up the altar

love it is?

she was unsure
he didn't care
but consumed in passion
of  the bodily lure
they succumbed to their instinct
and crochet the knot of marriage

love it is?

they were impassioned
they were insane
they were careless
they seldom refrain
he fervently kissed
she replied
and he was in her
that very night

AND SHE DIED...

of the numbness
at the time astride
it was a communion
of both bodies
hollow to the core
she never lived
from that very night

he was a player
she was taciturn
he tried
faced spite
he turned to places
to get sufficed
and she despised
the stinking man
lying beside

and they call it love
at first sight...

i believe in miracles!

I touched my nose

NO! i wasnt picking it ok

I was just making sure if its in place...

was it ?

yes! 

and i heaved a deep sigh

after a sudden pang  at the pit of my stomach ,

making me feel that i had an Ugly 

Pig Snout for a nose

I was depressed

I was lonely

I was Penelope

and that is what happens to me 

when i watch a nice movie :)

the power of fiction has held me so many times

I can even proudly call it 

my love in disguise

i know when i cant find the things in order 

when reality seems so profane

i turn to the fantastic

coz just like some ppl

(girls i would say)

find solace in the arms of the beloved (cliche to me  even to think about it :p)

the stories take me into some other world

has it ever happened to you?
did you feel like hogging on burgers after watching 'Harold and  Kumar Go to White Castle'
no?
then probably a normalcy check is on the cards

There isnt a person in my life  who is not aware of

my Harry Potter Mania

and i have managed to add on more to it , with Twilight in addition and a lot more chick flicks.

being in English honors i never felt the need to study more novels ( could i take a time off from dance? A: no)

but now I am a free spirited woman, as soon as the exam ends i have to pick as many chik flicks as possible

i am gluttonous 

and i lurv it 

so not digressing anymore and partially escaping the confession

i am back again to Penelope

to Harry Potter and

Twilight :)

the whole movie thing reminds me of cartoons, 

I SOo want to be bak in those days with Aladdin, tom and Jerry, Power puff girls, dexter, courage the cowardly dog, silly symphony, classic Micky mouse, Pingu 

how could i forget small wonder, hip hip hurray, Remix, Genie in the bottle

and the long lost and forgotten Duck tales- wohoo, Tale spin, jungle book, donald duck , popoye :)

I have loved the stories and

in the stories i live

is it an escape?

i have no idea :)

and all the beauty lies in it

scrap book yet agn :)

despicable desirable changes of life

I vividly remember the , the last day of School, i had this totally numb feeling and i was mystified into my own  belief that "blah, things are the same", and then the most important changes came in...
from a new house , to new college, to new set of frnds...everything switched with the snap of the fingers...


there were no  more classes with similar uniform clad frnds...
there wasnt the obligation to hide my phn in the bag
No more "groups", no more known faces around
i had to start from the scratch
rebuild everything, my room , my space, my life!


My three years in Hansraj has been tremendously incitive
i use this word because it made me do things which i had probably never done if i would not have been made to.
being a part of choreo society  wasnt a cakewalk, neither sustaining to be in it
n i walk out with gratitude, coz i have had it and come out clean 


The school molded me into a slate
but the finishing is what college provided 
with its bitter sweet learnings.
yet i shudder at the thought of another change.
sitting at Lp and observing the rived surface
the idea of change all the more scares me...
my whole day was consumed in the agony of it.


Then lighted the bulb in my mind,
the torn surface would son be plastered 
and Lp wil be Lp again
rising above the odds , i have received
something, more than i expected in the first change
the second could be better than the first :)
or worse :(


no idea


so who knows wats next
n y care now
?


get sloshed down and let the time come :)
the despicable desirbale change wont get me down ...

a writing quest

his personality profile is based on the writing of Payal Kalra created at the website: Handwriting Wizard.com - Handwriting University's Official automated personality report creator based on standardized basic personality traits as taught through Handwriting University's Certification Level Program.

 Payal is moderately outgoing. Her emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, she can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. She has the ability to put herself into the other person's shoes.
Payal will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes she will be happy, the next day she might be sad. She has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because she is in between. Psychology calls Payal an ambivert. She understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, she will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." She doesn't sway too far one way or the other.
When convincing her to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to her. She puts herself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet she will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Payal is an expressive person. She outwardly shows her emotions. She may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.
Payal is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. She weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when she finally has to. She basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.
 People that write very large tend to be very social and friendly. It seems Payal has this type of writing. This indicates a need for people and a particular natural ability to socialize and be the life of the party. Now, if Payal also has specific fears (like fear of criticism or fear of trust) then she will deny she is the life of the party, because fear has overcome her natural inclination to be social. People with large handwriting tend to be effective at anything that requires interaction with lots of people. she is a people person.
 Payal will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Payal believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.
 Payal is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.
 According to the inputted data, Payal has a stinger shape inside the oval of her a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then Payal has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Mom or Dad). If the writer is a woman she will be attracted to strong challenging men. If the writer is a man, he will find the woman who is "hard to get" the most attractive. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships.
For more information about this "stinger" trait, visit this webpage. Remember, it is only negative if the traits occurs often and is quite pronounced. An occasional stinger can be no problem.
 In reference to Payal's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Payal slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Payal can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
 Payal is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Payal basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
 Payal is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
 Payal has a temper. She uses this as a defense mechanism when she doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around her.
 Payal has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
 For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Payal has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Payal fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Payal has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Payal is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Payal would like to leave the past behind and move on.